It’s Saturday and you are stuck at home watching the TV again. You’re not really watching it, but you’re at least fulfilling your duty of being mindlessly entertained while you’re not contributing to society (not that you ever do otherwise). You’ve been sitting on your uncomfortable couch for a couple of days now and your belly is starting to bulge.
You flip to the ANIME channel via your TV remote. You figure that anime has always had great plot and you’ve always wanted to be the main protagonist in an anime…maybe this is your calling?
All that seems to be playing right now is Tentacle Hentai: Season 2 right now. You can’t seem to find any plot, but you sure are entertained.
After finishing the anime you still are left with the empty plot feeling you had before. You try to look through the TV but your lack of channel options is disheartening. You decide you’re going to finally have to get a job to upgrade your TV plan.
You look outside your window for a job in hopes that something comes up. You’ve done this often but nothing really happens.
However this time you find a couple of billboards telling exactly what you want them to.
You find an ad for a CAFE which looks promising. The bigger billboard is more ambiguous but by the looks of it it seems like The Best Job in The World. Do you pick one?
Get the job at the café since that makes you more eligible to get a gf. (Surely, the goal of this is to birth a child so it may sit plotless before a TV as well!) Also, make sure to wear the most hipsterish of clothing to work everyday.
You take out your binoculars to look for details on that very promising Bigger Billboard.
Turns out it’s for some public garbage collecting agency that is really in need of some manpower. You wish them well on their quest, but you’ll take no part in that. You already live in a junkyard of an apartment.
You decide the CAFE will have to do. You have no idea where to begin, but you figure you should at least head down to the local ConsumerBucks and start there. It’s the pub for the hipsters and the white women which is bound to get you somewhere in life?
You’re also not entirely sure what proper work attire is. But you strongly feel you need to wear your fedora and peacoat to fit in.
You’re too fat for the jacket, but you’ll keep the hat and maybe look for some sunglasses and a scarf on your way.
You steal a cab and tell him where you’re going. He tells you you smell horrible and look silly, but other than that he remains silent for the rest of the ride. You don’t know how to handle these types of social situations, should you talk to him?
No, give everyone the cold shoulder. That’s how you get the 10/10 ladies. They like the rude type. Instead focus on finding a shop to get a scarf and checkered pants.
You think about asking about his family life or something similar to meaningless small talk between strangers. However your paranoia and inexperience with them foresees him being super angry and unpleasant.
You also think this guy has ulterior motives to do the sex with you. Overall you’re not getting anywhere with this guy and it’s best if you don’t talk to him. You give him the cold shoulder. A voice says to you “That’s how you get the hottest ladies. They like the rude type.”
You arrive at your destination and he tries to steal 5 dollars from you.
You won’t have that kind of attitude so you tip your hat to him and run away. You need to save money for those cool clothes. It’s hard to tip your hat because of the flaps, but you think you managed the escape good enough.
You finally arrive at the ConsumerBucks. You have no money only have a couple of dollars, but that’s about to change. You’re ready to start taking orders and start getting cash. A lot of people are sitting by themselves, some kid is watching Tentacle Hentai on his laptop, and the atmosphere is perfect.
Wait, first you said we ran away to save money for clothes, but then said we didn’t have any at all. How do we even have a place to live and TV if we don’t have any money? And how are we going to start taking orders if we haven’t even applied for the job yet?
