Sov and the order of the Sov - the ratwars of 2300
Table of content can be seen with clickable links to the right side of the post.
Prologue
Pre-Prologue 1
Prologue for the prologue for the prologue prologue
2043 The dawn of a New beginning of Snails. Due to evolutionary pressure since The end of the world 2024. Snails have reached sentience and are populating the planet. In a mere decade they will reach towards the skies and travel to other planets. The ever lasting Empire of The Snail has begun. An era that will forever change the universe.
27 februari 2022
2045 all hail the snail overlords
2048 all hail snail
2051 snails at your door
2052 Snails under your door
2053 snails in your bed
2054 s n a i l
2055 Snails in My Head!!!
2068 The all mighty snail empire still prevails! They just fought of the evil slug menace of doom and are currently rebuilding their homeworld
2089 snails in your bed
2092 petition to add snail to the thread title, sign by reacting snail.
2097 The mighty snail empire have rebuilt their homeworld during the past decade but the united efforts seems to have been short-lived. Currently there is a diplomatic crisis due to internal politics. The current conflict relates to the recently voted in president of the snail confederation that wants to blame the aquatic snails for the slug war, and to make them pay for restoration in retrospect. For obvious reasons the aquatic snails did not approved and joined together in a coalition of independent states. Tensions are running high.
2098 aloha puts an aquatic snail flag on babel in support of their struggle
2112 The snail conflict has calmed down a bit since the newly elected president of the united snail confederation is less of an orange-snail warmonger and have more diplomatic skills. (Even if by his own account he had tremendous skills)
Pre-Prologue 2
Prologue for the prologue prologue
2119 Will history repeat itself for the snails?
2120 A new virus has been found from China
2121 Tensions are rising again since a leader of one of the larger snail countries have decided to pretend that its neighbouring country is evil and need to be a part of the red snail country due to some insanity and weird compensating behaviour due to small shell from its leader. (Also some world wide snailvid pandemic is ongoing)
2122 Despite of efforts to solve the tensions diplomatically, the larger snail country has decided to invade the smaller snail country. The larger snail country receives big opposition from all over the world
2123 The larger snail country has so far failed to annex their neighbour completely due to the united response from the rest of the world and huge resistance from the smaller snail countries inhabitants. Sadly the humanitarian crisis is large and it is one of the more horrible situations in recent times. As usual the innocent civilians suffered due to politics and “great” snails ego due to shells, figuratively and litteral, and lost dreams of great countries. Leaders rattle about snailbombs that could end the world and do posturing while ordinary snails just want to live their lives in peace. Instead it ended up in loss of lives and families and a humanitarian crisis once more. The larger country might try to find some kind of reason to back out of the situation without their leader being killed but ego is more important than human life apparently… When will they learn from history? It is a sad time for the history of Snail and a failure in multiple areas with losses of innocents on all sides. History has a creepy way of repeating itself… 
2124 wow I forgot about this place
2125, yeah, we have our own lore now
2126 what is it
2127 Snail empire lore (hopefully Snailkraine will end up liberated)(Without snailbombs destroying the world)
2129 How old is the snail empire
2130 almost 100 years
2131 Snails evolved sentience a few decades after the world ended back in 2024, so that is quite accurate Discord
Pre-Prologue 3
Prologue for the prologue
2145 If history is believed to repeat itself regularly the all mighty galactic snail empire of slimey adorable cuddly snailing, might just end up in flames. But so far they are still going strong, even with the added stupid conflict on their homeworld, luckily the snail of the larger snail country, with compensating issues for his tiny shell, have past away after to many people screamed fuck you at his warships. It might have also been due to his old age, or poison, but there is no conclusive evidence. So peace has been re-established. Will we have a few years without drama now?
2152 The rats rise up and destroy all snails because “fuck it, why not?”
2153 the snails and the rats fight a bitter war
2154 
2155 the rats monch, the snails crunch but still the war goes on
2156
2157 the snails lose out in the end, but the snail resistance remains
2161 The rats suffer horrible losses on the snail home world due to not expecting the extreme amount of resistance. Also the rest of the galactic nations send weapons and helmets, but no soldiers, since they do not want to risk a 4th world(galactic) war.
2162 slava snails (2.0)
2166 the rich rats are angry at their leader, there is talk of a coup
2168 The rich rats are very much less rich, their rat luxury ships have been taken away and are their oily companies have been targeted by sanctions. They are getting increasingly angry, sadly they still can eat to their hearts content while the normal rats are poor and suffering. The poor rats are also getting angrier and contemplate to remove their leader and are starting to believe the snails was right all along.
2171 hungry rat hungry rat
2173 Sadly there is also poor hungry snails that have done nothing wrong too. But as usual it is always the innocents that suffers the most. When will leaders learn? (slava snailkraine)(and a bit sorry for the poor innocent rats that have shitty leadership)
2174 a small amount of snails and rats meet in secret, they seek to oust their oppressive rulers
2175 The plot an uprising to get rid of abusive leaders, dawn of a new age?
2176 it was not, they took out the leaders but fell into infighting. the world is becoming a dark place
2177 Always another damn bad leader, history repeats itself. but maybe the 21 centaury will be the dawn of a new age. They have at least not nuked any of their planets right now
2179 lets forward to 2200 and start the dawn of a new friendlier empire that focuses on the people, snail or rat, or even, god forbit… slug…
2180 Fast forwarding… (ändrad)
2182 fast forwarning, omg type fail but it might actually be relevant (says speed snail) (ändrad)
2185 rat terrorists attack the snail embassy
2191 Fast forward almost completed, lets hope there wont be a dot-com bubble in 2201, the snail-rat civilization might not be able to cope
2193 Every snail and rat in existence is investing in technology and programming. Nothing can ever go wrong.
2195 Snail OS 95 releases
2196 A free and open source operating system named Snailux start gaining popularity
2197 @sov CAN YOU NOT PING ME
2197 Snailux takes over marketshare
2199 The shell is ever growing of this dot.com snail. Will it burst? (rats invest too)
2201 Bubble burst Snaivings are going up in smoke, and rats are rattling for better times
2202 the snails long for the day their currency was backed by gold
2243 world did not end again during this century. Snailing and rattating on borrowed time?
2257 The snails are suffering from imaginary inflation but the goverment says it is not true. Rents are at negatives and housing are skyrocketing but it does not count since montly cost are based on interest. There is NO bubble. You shall buy your appartment for 20milion snailbucks and shut up.(just increased 2000% last 10 years)
2258 snails keep getting told they are more wealthy than ever, snail still wants to die
2261 Snail salary is higher than ever. 200 thousand snailbucks in avarage. For some reason a loaf of snailbread costs 10 thousand snailbucks but that is not a real issue, only imaginary.
Pre-Prologue 4
Actual prologue
2267 The great Snail famine of 2267. It is still imaginary if one is to believe the corrupt leaders. It is also fair to just eat cake or English child snails if one is to believe the nobles. The normal folk however is starting to think about overthrowing the government of snail homeworld. Rats will help.
2317 Snails have embraced the power of peace, and are slightly forcing their perceived peace on the rats, peacefully
2319 More enforced peace. In the name of the greater snail of snails religion of Snailing. Rats must snail, shells or not, for their own sake.
2321 Some rats are resisting, so the snails will use peaceful force to forcefully peace them into submitting peacefully. (All in the name of kindness)
2323 Due to pressure from the rats calling the snail religion evil, the snails have renamed their religion to Sov - Snails of valiantness. It will be called out into the skies for ages to come.
2327 Everyone is praising the Sov.
2328 Praise Sov Praise Sov Praise Sov Praise Sov Praise Sov Praise @sov Praise SovPraise SovPraise SovPraise SovPraise SovPraise SovPraise Sov
2329 @sov PLEASE FUCKING STOP
2332 At this point I am worried sov will take over the Sov order and use it to get rid of The Narrator. (Dont kill the messenger pls)
2334 Internal politics is boiling over, sov has almost managed to infiltrate the Sov order.
2339 Will sov manage to beat the Narrator and change the narrative or will the order of Sov follow its set path. Dont go too far or you might enforce an exclusion zone… Drama increasing.
2341 sov tried to change faith and the Narr… ehm… faith pushed back. The snail nation is invaded by evil rats and the order is united once more. sov loses the majority of influence but still holds power from the shadows.
Chapter 1
2344 The war against the rats rages on across multiple solar systems. The once friendly relations are forever gone, mostly due to the Narr… ehm… a secret snail agent managing to abduct the princess of the rat nation. In angre the rat leader, the great J mc Sweety rat, ordered an all out attack. War rages on. sov is a bit confused due to being forced out of meddling with snail religion and instead faces a choice. Will he stand up against the rat nation and help out as a loyal foo… ehm. general in the war? Or will he gather a team and investigate the suspicious snailratnappening? (Find out in the next chapter of “sov and the order of the Sov: The rat wars of 2300”)
Chapter 2
sov decided to temporarily follow the narrative and try to force the plot by doing exactly what was expected. He decided to gather a team and try and figure out a way to work on rescuing the snail princess and by doing so creating a bit of time to contemplate the cosmic forces in action that seemingly worked in the shadows to affect his path in life.
Arriving at the planet Snailus in the Snailicron nebula 235x sov tried to recruit some decent help among the restless populace that used to mine cheese from the nearby moon. For understandable reasons the cheese trade had been taken a sharp turn towards non-existent by this point and labor was cheap. Due to being pushed out of seat of power in the order of Sov, credits were no longer as abundant so our hero decided to try his best to hire a few desperate snails that would be easily convinced to go against the ratkind.
Our hero found what he was looking for at a cheese tavern outside a processing town for cheese cubes. Five desperate snails, two guards, two factory workers and a random kid that had been abandoned and for some reason tagged along hoping to be a snail hero. He was also a fairly decent mechanic for snailship engines. The team has been gathered and it was time for adventure, glory and lots of bounty for saving the princess.
Or so they thought…
Chapter 3
The six newly acquainted companions decided to try and find out clues about the kidnapping of the rat princess Tomiia of ratkind. She was kidnapped while on a diplomatic mission on the snail planet Shellius in the galaxy of Schlem. The last known location was leaving a diplomatic meeting and supposedly she was about to go visit some kind of celebration afterwards with the greatest and richest snails and rats around. After the tail went cold.
However, another difficulty arises, our brotherhood of sov, not to be confused with the order of Sov, did not have either credits nor supplies. The guard snails suggested to go raid the cheese moon nearby, an old mining outpost, but since the end of the operations there had been rumors of monsters and great cheese snakes rooming the surface. With little choice sov decided to pursue this dangerous plan. They would go cheese mining and forsaken the age old tabu of eating cheese to try and survive, while hopefully gaining some needed credits and equipment from the old mining facilities. Luckily the guard snails had some weapons hidden and sov still had some fuel for his tiny scout ship.
Will our team of brave snails prevail? or will they die horribly due to weird narrating?
Interlude 1
2351 The narrator is currently documenting the history of the snail nation for future generations of snails. New updates on sovs journey will arrive in a not so far nearish maybe farish future, depending on the availability of beer, and god forbid; chesee. And also the willingness of sov to actually follow the narrative and not cause an apocalyptic event of unforeseen consequences.
2355 Rumour has it that the entirety of sov and the snails lore so far is 2381 words. (some insane fucker actually documented all the comments) Updates will be returning in a planned, notplannedatall, schedule with daily, notdailyatallifIamnotdrunkenough, releases. Help shape your own destiny!
2351 The narrator is currently documenting the history of the snail nation for future generations of snails. New updates on sovs journey will arrive in a not so far nearish maybe farish future, depending on the availability of beer, and god forbid; chesee. And also the willingness of sov to actually follow the narrative and not cause an apocalyptic event of unforeseen consequences.
2355 Rumour has it that the entirety of sov and the snails lore so far is 2381 words. (some insane fucker actually documented all the comments) Updates will be returning in a planned, notplannedatall, schedule with daily, notdailyatallifIamnotdrunkenough, releases. Help shape your own destiny!
2369 >
can someone save the logs of this thread?? what a story we have going on here lmao
2370 snail snail snail
2381 There will be documentation in a forum post for history reasons regarding the snail and rat lore. So far the history snails have worked over time to document current events, them rats might have another view of what actually happened though. Who might be right in the end?
Chapter 4
2383 sov and his merry team of more or less broken broke snail outcasts decided to visit the cheese moon of the planet Snailius in the Snailicron nebula 235x, a planet on the outskirts of the ever-lasting snail empire. Their main goal was to gather enough fuel and cheese to survive the trip to Shellius in the galaxy of Schlem, however this was a planet in the outskirts in the other direction of the empire. A trip that might prove perilous in the current war between ratkind and snail, so supplies were desperately needed.
Our hero sov was perfectly fine with forcing his merry team to eat cheese to be able to ones again prove himself as a main character in his own story, but there were issues with this approach. The cheese moon was not a friendly place anymore. Cheese snakes and other monsters roomed the surface, so they decided to set course towards an outpost in the northern hemisphere. Another issue was the god-awful taste of cheese, but that is an inherent issue for snail kind, and therefore also a sov issue, since sov is a snail too. Even if he likes to pretend he is not. In any case the awful cheese would have to suffice. If they were lucky, they might even be able to kill some cheese snakes and eat those, but this was a dangerous mission. In any case, they decided, or rather he forced everyone else to agree, to visit the outpost and give a silent “Fuck you” to all the dangers.
Nothing could ever go wrong.
Chapter 5
The sound of thousands of scratching claws, or maybe it was actually screeching, or maybe both, and the narrator just made a slight mistake while typing drunkenly, who even knows at this point, and he might have enough issues with forcing sov on an unwanted adventure to even bother redacting anything. In any case, it was evil and scary and grew ever louder.
sov and his merry team of slightly poor and forgotten maybe heroes stood at the landing pad in the in a large opening surrounded by a huge mining complex with buildings in a wide circle around them. From every door and opening the sound grew ever louder and tapping of claws could be heard getting closer. The fear was growing but they held strong, even if sov still hated the fact that he was a snail one thing could be said about him; he was not a cowardly snail.
He yelled at his team to climb up on their ship and get ready just as masses of weirdly rat-looking creatures with way too many limbs started to pour out of every door, window and other opening in the buildings surrounding them. Luckily there was a fair bit of distance before they would reach them. They started desperately shooting at the charging rats.
Sadly, sov could not aim for shit but it looked brave enough, and they screamed out their defiance while the rats by pure chance started dying all around them. Also, a little bit due to the others in his team of weirdos actually being able to aim. If only one could crouch spam away problems in real life…
Rats kept dying, sov kept screaming, everyone else kept shooting. The gore, horror and screaming grew ever louder.
Would they be able to survive or was this “epic” adventure doomed to end up with them being rat food…?
Chapter 6
2430 The sound of thousands of scratching claws, or maybe it was actually screeching, or maybe both, and the narrator just made a slight mistake while typing drunkenly, who even knows at this point, and he might have enough issues with forcing sov on an unwanted adventure to even bother redacting anything. In any case, it was evil and scary and grew ever louder.
sov and his merry team of slightly poor and forgotten maybe heroes stood at the landing pad in the in a large opening surrounded by a huge mining complex with buildings in a wide circle around them. From every door and opening the sound grew ever louder and tapping of claws could be heard getting closer. The fear was growing but they held strong, even if sov still hated the fact that he was a snail one thing could be said about him; he was not a cowardly snail.
He yelled at his team to climb up on their ship and get ready just as masses of weirdly rat-looking creatures with way too many limbs started to pour out of every door, window and other opening in the buildings surrounding them. Luckily there was a fair bit of distance before they would reach them. They started desperately shooting at the charging rats.
Sadly, sov could not aim for shit but it looked brave enough, and they screamed out their defiance while the rats by pure chance started dying all around them. Also, a little bit due to the others in his team of weirdos actually being able to aim. If only one could crouch spam away problems in real life…
Rats kept dying, sov kept screaming, everyone else kept shooting. The gore, horror and screaming grew ever louder.
Would they be able to survive or was this “epic” adventure doomed to end up with them being rat food…?
Chapter 7
2529 Mutated rat monsters kept dying even more, one of the snail guards ByteBit wished it was a lie, but the Narrator seemed hellbent on throwing rats to die at sov and his wonderful team of snaily snails. Maybe due to sovs unwillingness to actually do as he was told without lots of fussing and get on with it and embrace his inner snail and upcoming adventures…
In any case. The snails fought bravely for their lives, well except sov that kept screaming, as dead mutated rats kept piling up in a circle all around them and the ship. The flood of rats seemed to go on forever. Had it been hours, mere minutes? Who knows? I don’t anyway. Everyone except sov kept firing and throwing everything at the rats as they started to climb their own corpses and getting way to close…
This kept on for what felt like forever with rat limbs, blood, gore, and not an insignificant amount of slimey body fluid from sov throwing up between the bouts of screaming. It seemed like they would all die horribly until the ever so tiny mechanic snail got a great idea. They were standing on a spaceship after all, even if it was a tiny one, mostly due to sov not being able to get his slimey hands on a bigger one after leaving the order of the Sov for his new adventures. Completely by choice and not being forced in any way.
The snailcanic yelled at the others to hold on and climbed into the ship from a hatch in the roof and decided to start up the spaceship engines. sov got even more frightened for not so obvious reasons and screamed even more while him and the others tried to hang on for dear slimey life while the ship started to lift. The only bright snail in the band of snails decided to aim the thrusters at the ever-ongoing flood of rats and start the afterburners. Horrified twisted screams of rats dying by the hundreds being burned alive almost drowned the engine sounds.
Only one thing could be heard even louder, the increasingly high-pitched ever so brave scream of sov the snail, holding on for his life.
Chapter 8
2615 The ship slowly landed, and they turned off the engines. It was way to silent and only the muted sparkling and crackling sound of burning mutated rats could be heard, else it was eerily quiet. An uncountable number of weird looking rats had died, likely all drawn towards the ever-brave scream of sov the snail, and now they were all dead. Very dead in fact, most likely, they looked dead anyway, but from experience with these things they were not really really dead until one put a safety bullet in their heads a few times. In any case a hell of a lot of rats where likely-dead, maybe all of the, or at least all of them that were close enough, only God knows how many rats still existed on this forsaken cheese moon…
After the ship had landed our brave snail sov still held on for his life. He had held on to the ship for his life for so long it seemed like he almost got stuck and stayed glued to the ship for his slimey life long after it had landed. The snaily mechanic and the guards tried to tell him they were safe now, but it they got no reaction out of him, so they left him hanging, literarily and figuratively, and left to scout the surrounding area for surviving rats or possible clues as to what had happened. The fire from the afterburners had spread some distance into the tunnel complex and almost half a kilometer out in every direction the ground was littered with twisted burned rat corpses. Then it just stopped, and there was no sign of any rats nor any tracs. Either every rat in the complex nearby had charged to their death or they had decided to back off and retreat into the shadows after the wave of burning plasma had hit their fellow rats.
The team of now four snails got ever more frightened and started to question the sanity of this mission. Luckily their main goal was not far away, the fuel depot was only one kilometer from the landing site, but they decided to pull back and try and bring sov out of his chocked state to get some further instructions before moving forwards. Hopefully sov would be able to come up with a plan to achieve their goals without all of them ending up as rat food on a faraway moon…
Chapter 9
Back at the ship sov had finally let go and was sitting next to the ship staring into the eyes of one of the larger burned corpses nearby. He reached forward and leaned in closer… and closer until he almost touched the rat. Then he started to scream a bit more while punching and kicking at the dead thing. Likely some weird act of coping but the others in the team backed away a bit and awkwardly let him keep at it, while they now started to question not only the sanity of this mission but also the sanity of their leader. However, sov the snail had brought them together, given them a purpose and a new meaning in life, or at least food and drinks and the possibility to kill weird creatures. So, they decided to stay by his side, he was quite a strong snail after all if one would judge from how mashed up the poor rat was by now…
It was time to come up with a plan, they needed to grab the fuel cells from the depot, grab every possible tool and useful item and then load up on cheese to have food for the journey. The later was arguably fairly easy since the entire moon was made out of cheese, but the first part was more dangerous. They did not know if there were still rats out there and they needed to decide what to do. sov had managed to calm himself down and gave his team some well deserved praise for their quick thinking while he tried to scare the rats away by screaming, or lure them in to be burned, who knows. Anyway, it was time for action and sov the snailiest of snails decided that they might as well load up on the cheese first and while doing so block of the other openings so they would not get surrounded again. So that was what they did for the rest of the day all the way until nightfall, but as soon as the sun went down, the scratching and/or screeching could once again be heard in the distance in between loud high-pitched howling. All of the rats were not dead after all but luckily, they had managed to block off all the other entrances and barricade the one leading to the depot. They once again took up arms, and this time sov joined in, more determined than ever to be a brave snail and help his team.
Would they survive the night against the hordes of zombie mutant rats, or was this the final end of sov and his snails?
Interlude 2 – the narrating of narratives
The narrator was busy with the ever-pressing issues of keeping the world aligned due to threats way to horrible and redacted to even talk about, and even worse thinking about. The snailverse managed to survive for now and the all-mighty being? thing? thingy? went back to its ever so long slumbering and dreamed on. Eons or minutes might have passed, or a couple of weeks in one of the worlds with weird cosmic timey whimey insight via some kind of quantum thingy writing. In any case, existential threat to everything were survived.
/Narrating the great narrative of narration – source unknown
Chapter 10
Sitting in the darkness with only the light from the campfire, burning suspiciously foul cheese wood, the team of sov and his four snail companions looked down the only entrance left open. Scratching and screeching slowly grew louder, also muted sounds from claws scratching at the cheese barricades blocking of the other tunnels into the cheesy industrial complex could be heard.
“What are we supposed to do now?” Snailchanic whispered while looking at the other snails. “We barely survived the last encounter as is”.
The brave leader of the snail band shivered and stared out into the darkness with ever so wide wiggling eyes, on ever so tiny eyestalks.
“sov?!” The tiny snail with mechanic skills whispered louder, to try and shake the leader out of his brave stance.
sov jumped a little bit and looked back at the other snail. “Oh yes, ehm, well I obviously have a plan.” He said trying to look brave and certain. Looking very not so brace and certain.
Some time passed. The screeching got even louder, and more scratches could be heard all around them…
“Let’s try and create a choke point.” Said the first larger guard snail while he picked up a huge cheese block. sov looked relieved to not have to tell them his grand plan himself and let the largest of the guard snails take charge, to further promote the feeling of everyone being involved in the decision making. It was his plan all along after all, totally.
The snails hurried about and picked up multiple blocks and tried to cover up most of the entrance into the only tunnel left out from the courtyard. Luckily the rats seemed to be contained inside the complex and did not chose to use the covered-up windows for now.
“They are coming!” screamed generic guard snail 2, that was a bit smaller and less talkative than the larger guard snail with a high-pitched voice. Somehow the narrator had not gotten around to sort out the naming of the support team but anyhow, the rats charged once more!
Chapter 11
Sneaky Raidying mutated rats
Rats started to climb out over the cheese barricade a few at a time and then more. The snails opened fire in short bursts, Sov predictably started to scream but got punched in the side and was rewarded with a very meaningful look. Sorting out his panicked state of mind instantly, he aimed his gun at the opening and also started shooting. He might have missed a few shots, but it was in the correct general direction after a slight poke at the gun from the larger guard snail.
At first it looked like they would be able to keep this up, but no-one knew how many rats there were left in the compound…
Taking turns, they kept up the slog and killed rats for what felt like hours, but they just kept coming, wave after wave. Almost as if they were trying to test their defenses, or maybe something else entirely was going on?
It kept going on, and on. Rats died; Sov practiced his epic aim. Rats died. Sov missed most of his shots but the guard snails helped with tiny pokes and judging totally friendly looks. Rats died.
Until something suddenly changed!
A loud howling and gnargling could be heard from behind and broke up the monotony of the rat killing. Then there was a loud crashing sound shortly after at the barricade from that direction! The snails hurried to turn around and try to figure out how to face this new threat!
The quickly contemplated their faith in the face of horrible dangerous horribleness. Would they be able to stand an assault on multiple directions? With something that sounded waay to huge, and way to gargling in a somewhat howling way.
“Get your shit together!” screamed Mecha snail. “Me and the tiny guard snail will cover the open tunnel.” He threw a grenade in that direction and a loud boom underlined his words.
Sov and the other three of the brave snails faced the new threat, while Sov was silently happy for his team members great ability to read his mind in regard to his amazing planning. However, it was time to actually try to take charge and work on some character development on his part.
“Hold on guys! We can do this!” He screamed, with a slightly too high-pitched voice, but screamed he did. A true leader in the makings.
Another loud crash could be heard, and cheese splinter flew in all directions as cheesy dust covered the now not so covered up opening. A shadow of something way to large, with way too many limbs could be seen in the dim light…
Early draft though so there are errors and some weirdness with years but it will be updated.