Hurt the next poster

Monstarules · March 11, 2017, 11:02pm

Get them! Be creative!

The next poster will be attacked by a flying saw blade

shywolf91 · March 11, 2017, 11:14pm

ouch.

The next poster will be hurt by Abraham Lincoln a machete

QuickBrownFox · March 11, 2017, 11:21pm

-10hp.

The next poster shall be hurt by an AK-47 wielding Putin and a Churchill in a Churchill tank with a Bren submachine gun, sticking out of it.

Stradivarius · March 12, 2017, 1:01am

-101 hp

the next poster will be hurt by a march against Macri
(really hurts lul)

shywolf91 · March 12, 2017, 1:06am

-9000hp

The next poster just happens to get attacked by a flying flaming Stradivarius violin

QuickBrownFox · March 12, 2017, 1:34am

Dodges (Is dodging illegal in this thread?)

The next poster happens to get slammed to death by Hulk Hogan.

Monstarules · March 12, 2017, 3:14am

But…I AM A MASOCHIST! PUNCH HARDER BROTHER! -1e24 HP

Next poster get blasted by the deathstar.

also no dodging.

thegreensun · March 12, 2017, 7:00am

-1000HP

The next poster will be shot by a sniper from E°115

YoSUu · March 12, 2017, 10:43am

YoSUu post:9:

-100hp

next poster will be punched in the stomach by notactuallysteve’s knuckle blaster stun gun, his bond with his knuckle blaster stun gun was so strong, the story of it was legendary. He lived to tell the tale, the story quotes that he was confronted by some punks demanding his money, he was no match for them.

Steve relized that he needed to protect himself, so he bought a knuckle blaster stun gun. He went back to the Walmart parking lot where he was mugged, he approached the group of hooligans that stole his money.

Now, let’s hand it to Steve to tell his story.

Steve: Okay here is the next thing that happens.
I cooly asked “Remember me?”.
One of them looked up and said, “Have you come back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Girl Scout Troop needs to raise more money!”
I replied with “you’re not taking my money this time”. “But sir, they’re delicious!”, she said.

I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand and shouted “WRONG MOVE B****!” The five girl scouts ran away screaming.

As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at the largest one with a cry of “RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!” and hit him in the stomach. He hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym.

As the others began to circle around me, I changed techniques. Holding both of my hands in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back up my stomach.

I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the ground. Then I started singing “Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the… FLOOOOORRR!!!”

I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my foes, electrocuting them with my teeth. Eventually they were all unconscious, and I walked home victorious.

QuickBrownFox · March 12, 2017, 11:33am

-50hp.

The next poster will be hurt by 50 point blank shots from SPAS-12.

Aw.

YoSUu · March 12, 2017, 12:28pm

.

Glass · March 13, 2017, 9:41pm

-0/+0hp
next poster will be shot with a remington .22LR rifle in the balls at point blanc range.

Monstarules · March 13, 2017, 10:38pm

Oh fuck.
Next poster gets beaten to death by a womans tits.

israelleelll · March 13, 2017, 10:49pm

Worth it. Death by benis

Monstarules · March 14, 2017, 1:41am

BENIS;benis;

The next poster will be killed by flying bacons!

Eddy · March 14, 2017, 2:42am

yummy
next poster will die excruciatingly in a black hole

Glass · March 14, 2017, 3:57pm

;~;

next poster will get beaten by israel’s excessive use of the word “benis”

QuickBrownFox · March 14, 2017, 4:59pm

Topic closed, hands down. This can’t be beaten.

But I’ll try to.

The next poster will be hurt by tons of aliens, parachuting from a plane without a parachute with M4A4s on flying cows with airplane wings, nukes and a bunch of milk boxes.

Glass · March 14, 2017, 5:21pm

i’m dead that was hard to top off
next poster’s death by:

thegreensun · March 16, 2017, 3:18am

Offensive but okay.
-100hp and millions of dollars.

Next will be lazed by a commanding officer then will be bomb by PAF FA-50s.